Valentine’s Day can seem like a sad or very lonely time if you don’t have a significant other in your life to celebrate it with. If you’re single and hoping to find a mate then the feelings of loneliness or “missing out” can be intensified even more on this occasion.

It’s in our nature as human beings to want to be loved and feel validated so it’s not unusual to search outside of our selves to get these needs met. In fact it’s quite normal to project these needs by building a fantasy in our minds of the “perfect” or ideal mate who will continuously validate us and make us feel special – rescuing us from our perceived loneliness or inadequacies.

But much of the marketing around romance involves fantasy and false promises, and consumers are constantly faced with the shortcomings of reality as compared to these illusions.

Successful couples know that the true grit of relationships tell a different story … Even a partner who might be considered an “ideal” mate based on shared values and interests can’t provide you with enough love and validation if you don’t love and validate yourself first!

Self-love and high self-esteem are the foundation of strength from which we can reach out and give to others, and from the act of giving we can open our hearts to receive. The inner self is where ALL love stems from and is found. Love increases your ability to relax deeply inside, eliminating those stuck, energetic blocks in your body that stop you from manifesting what you truly desire. To be able to accept yourself exactly as you are, for the pure pleasure of it, is one of the greatest experiences there is.

So if you’re dreading Valentine’s Day because you’re single or recently became single, find a meditation on self-love that you can practice not just at this time of the year but throughout the year. Here are links to a couple of good ones:

Satya Center’s Back to the Garden: Meditations on Self-Love

Online Meditation Center: Self-Love Meditation

For more inspiration, try reading Deepak Chopra’s book The Path to Love. And if you need a few reasons to feel good about being single on Valentine’s Day check out this blog post too: 5 Benefits of Being Single on Valentine’s Day.