Since stress is the biggest contributor to sleeplessness this seems like the best place to start. If the main source of your stress is mental or emotional then there are a variety of methods you can use to help you relax and get in the proper frame of mind for rest.
Journaling. More often than not, restless sleep is the result of your subconscious mind trying to resolve conflicts and fears. One way to get a handle on these is to keep a journal. It’s helpful to write down any problems or issues you may be struggling with and then come up with a solution or more than one for how to handle each one.
You can draw a vertical line down the middle of a page in your notebook or journal, dividing it into two columns. At the top of the left column write down the title “Problem” or Concern” and at the top of the right column write the title “Possible Solutions or Strategies.” Then start writing down in the left column a list of the various problems, worries or concerns you have that may be keeping you up at night. In the right column, adjacent to each problem write down one or more possible ways of handling or resolving it if or when it comes up. The more involved the problems are the more paper you will need. If you have to, use one page per issue and give yourself plenty of writing space to come up with a Plan A, Plan B, Plan C etc.
Knowing that you have a strategy or plan for handling problems will put your mind at ease, even if they’re not entirely fleshed out. Another important part of this exercise is to pay attention to the underlying or “hidden” emotions behind your problems and your thoughts about them. There’s a good chance that a lot of the problems you are pre-occupied with are really a manifestation of a deeper underlying fear you have – fear of loss, fear of not being enough, fear of not being loved or understood. Try to identify the real fears you have as clearly as possible and check in with yourself about how likely they are to actually be true! A lot of times when we’re in a state of worry or stress we tend to overstate or exaggerate the situation. Try to see things as objectively as possible – not better than or worse than they are. Ask yourself “Is this true?” then ask yourself “Can I be absolutely sure that this true?”
Naming and facing your feelings (i.e. fear, anger, sadness, hurt) directly, will help quiet your mind come bedtime. And just the act of writing thoughts and feelings down on paper gets them out of your head (and your imagination). Also, pay attention to the language you use to describe your problems and feelings and try to shift from a negative perspective to a more positive one – i.e. focus on what’s working rather than what’s not or focus on appreciating what you have rather than fretting about what you don’t have. So another tool you can try is a Gratitude Journal where you just write down everyday, all the things in your life you’re grateful for.
For more information on dealing with stubborn emotional troubles that cause suffering (and ultimately sleeplessness) check out The Work by Byron Katie.
